Pitt-er Truth

So K turns 26 and has succesfully maintained her single status for 26 long years. On her budday…

M:

K…i hope til now being in the big US of A you have hooked up with at least 1 australian + 1 british + 1 german + 1 chinese + 1 latin guy.
If you havent shame on you and go get one for your happy budday as my budday gift to you.

K:

Err….

A:

K …kaisi hai….tera track record ladko ke bare main same hai na….good!!!
u havnt dissappointed us,even after goin to US….n dnt worry prince charming in rite thr in the corner,will walk in at the rite time!!!u just hang in thr,dnt change(stop listening to M’s advices,she was never good at them)…
n all the best!!

K:

Umm….

M:

K….that prince charming is a fairy tale. I am telling you. I am dispensing free advise….like baz luhermaan said in his sunscreen speech ….. A is only being nice to you..I am telling you the truth…..noone comes along riding a white horse and looking like brad pitt….. those who have horses and look like pitt and already busy laying all the angelina jolie lookalikes with those sexy legs, all over the world. I maybe sounding like scrooge’s mother or something but I swear ..I am not lying.

Now THATS the wisest piece of wisdom I have heard in ages.
Lol.

Silly

I am cranky and in this silly lyrical mood
Maybe coz I am hungry and have no food
O.k. that was the worst rhyme ever
And I thought I could write something clever.
If you don’t like it, close the page dude!

Under the influence of God…

God definitely was mighty drunk and full of glee,
In that crazy moment, when he decided to make me.

And surely a hangover must have been pissing him off too,
When irritably, and cursing loudly, he had to make you.

Why?

I saw you smiling when you walked by
You didn’t know, that you caught my eye
If I ask you, I know you will lie
Dying to tell, but just simply deny.

Affliction

Cold and Cough. Goes away on it’s own. In seven days.
Wish that was the only affliction I had.

Hmmm…..

Don’t ask me why…..
But these are the type of obtuse conversations I have ….almost everyday. I dont know why but most of them end with a ‘Hmmm…’

He: Hi. What happened? Didn’t like the new city?
Me: Not that..sexy hai. just main pak gayi. mujhe mumbai chahiye. pani puri chahiye. juhu beach + prithvi chahiye
He: hehe. so u quit?
Me: no no. not yet
He: I thought u were happy to get away
Me: I was. I never denied. I am just tired of being happy. Now i want to be sad
He: strange
Me: hmm..Not really…..

He: where do u get the photographs for ur blog..they r v interesting
Me: have u hear of a website called google.com?
He: google….gooooggglleeeee…i guess i hv. is it the one that was our best friend during our summer project and most of our MBA days
Me: yes same place.
He: and still comes handy when we want to flick a readymade report on something
Me: they throw up images also at you if you ask nicely
He: hmmm…

He: Why did you move countries?
Me: more money + good profile + another culture +another country + run away from shaadi + opportunity to travel. just exactly like everyone else. am not very different from most ppl.
He: Its only a myth that we are different, we r all same, the sooner we realise this the better it it”
Me: (In my mind) yeah..I wish. Hmmmm….

He:…blah.blah.blah…And that was the joke. Ha Ha.
Me: U r crazy.
He: I was sane…u made me crazy.
Me: lol…..i dont apologise….
He: Hmmm…..

Me: ok. byebye. love ya. tata
He: birla
Me: horrendous sense of humour
He: heheheh. thnks you
But dont you think it is super fun when you ask ppl dum question with sincereity
Me: of course it is. its very funny
He: Hmmmm..

Secret

A smile shared with you is fun. If it’s a secret, it’s even more fun.
And when you smile to yourself and think you have kept a secret from me……

……. Jackass! At least manage to smile secretly without letting me know!

Psyched

I did it. I Psyched him out. Even without going out with him.
He asked me half a question. I answered six questions before he completed the first question.
He forgot the rest of the question.
And also any questions he might have had after or before that question.

dum dum.

Simply Complex

He: Don’t do it. Don’t freak the poor guy out.
She: Why should I not do it?
He: Because I am saying so.
She (one eyebrow up): And you think I will agree?
He (laughing at the ceiling): I wish. If only you would, life would be so much easier.
She (jauntily): But then, I wouldn’t be so much fun either.
He (sighing): Yeah, but life would have been so much simpler.
She (still jaunty): What do you want to do with a simple life?
He (simply): Live it.
She (laughing): But it would be boring. You wouldn’t enjoy it.
He (one eyebrow up): Of course I would.
She (smirking): I don’t think so. You like complexity. Everyone does.
He (frowning): That’s rubbish.
She (laughing): Everyone does. We just like to pretend that we do not. And that in itself is our complexity.
He (laughing): Whatever….

And they stride towards the lunch room…..

Wicked

I have been asked to go out with someone just to psyche him out.
By talking to him.

Ha ha…this sounds like fun. Maybe I will do it.

Thats how I look in my mind right now.

Me…and me.

I am not always insane. Sometimes I put in a real lot of effort at sanity. But I fail miserably.
I am not always unpredictable. But Predictability doesnt like me and the feelings are mutual, so she rarely visits me.
I am as random as you are or maybe as much as you can never be. Maybe even chaotic.

That’s also why I am so much fun.