Archive for December, 2006

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The two ends

December 21, 2006

Two headlines in the newspaper on the same day caught my eye.

1. “200 new millionaires to be born” – The moment WNS listed their stock on the exchange.

2. “5 day old baby sold for Rs.21” – The mother didnt have food to eat and the only way she could buy any food was by selling the only valuable thing she had – her baby.

Both are about making money.
Both are about getting richer.
Both are about people.

One is about dreams being realised. The other about dreams being shattered.

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Back to Unreality

December 21, 2006

The wind lashed against my face. A yellow neon blur dimmed and brightened alternately outside the metal frame of the window. The long forgotten yet familiar drone of vehicle honks, piled up traffic on a busy street and cars whizzing by stirred distant memories.
The brightly lit up signboards, familiar signs,known names and faint recollections of memories associated with each of them flew past me.

Three years.Thats the amount of time,after which I met her.Her a smile hadn’t changed much.Still the lost funny look in her eyes.Still the loud hearty laugh.But it was a different person.Gone were the prejudices and strong opinions about whats right and whats wrong.These were replaced by an acceptance of other people’s lifestyles,ideas,outlooks.An acceptance that even though someone does not agree with your views, they are not wrong.

Its ironic.
Ten minutes is the road distance between the six of us.It took three years and three days of her coming back for the rest of us to meet each other.Funny how we so completely ignore those that are close till they leave.Once they are not with us,we keep hoping they will be back someday.It takes someone to come back from across seven seas to culminate into I meeting someone who stays a stones throw away.

But guess thats facts.Thats reality.Her coming back,meeting them for dinner and then the much loved customary drive through the well known lanes of our homes before we aid good-bye… I loved every minute of being back to the Unreality where i belong,where I lived and wherein my past sleeps.

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To my Sweethearts

December 21, 2006

To As, Kad, Ap and Man – Who are My only redemption from the world.

I love you all.

For being with you….
i dont haveto put up my defences..
i dont have to worry abt saying anything
about anything
just relax..
and smile
and feel alive
and feel happy to be me!

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Vagabond

December 21, 2006

…and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
under wandering stars I’ve grown
by myself but not alone
I ask no one

…and my ties are severed clean,
the less I have the more I gain
off this beaten path I reign
rover wanderer nomad vagabond
call me what you will

…but I’ll take my time anywhere
I’m free to speak my mind anywhere
and I’ll never mind anywhere
anywhere I roam
where I lay my head is home ………………..

dedicated to you….:)

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20 Random things about myself

December 21, 2006

Got this idea from someone else.. 20 random things about myself. thought I would give it a shot.

1. I love libraries.
Specially the ones that have really old volumes kept in those dusty wooden shelves. The musty old-world smell of those old books, their yellowing delicate pages and the quaint little pictures in them conjure up for me an old world which I have never seen.

2. I love the sun on winter days.
When the rays are just warm and do not burn you, when you can easily look up at the sky and close your eyes and lie down on the grass and just soak in the warmth.

3. I hate cockroaches.
I think they are the worst/dirtest type of creatures arond. I start screaming and jumping if I see one around. Am terribly scared of them.

4. I love Ice-Cream
Terribly fattening.
Yes.I know.Yet irresistable.For me, choosing an ice-cream flavor is one of the most difficult choices in life!

5. I love being alone at home.
When there is no one around. That feeling of total comfort.Total bliss.Solitude.Lying on my back and staring at the fan going around in circles.random thoughts flying around me.

6. I think Tea is not a beverage, it’s a religion
Not my original line.Read it on someone’s profile.Loved it.Agreed with it.No Tea, No Me.

7. I love to walk.
Walking through the old buildinngs of south mumbai. Walking on the beach with the sand flirting with my toes. Walking on marine drive, soaking in the sweep of the sky and the neon lights.Walking through grass on rain drenched hillsides.

8.I loved “God of small things”.
Most people I know could not stand it. The descriptions didnt end. The language was twisted. The examples were unthinkable. Those were their complaints. Those were my reasons to love the book.

9. “But strangers we were then, we stood for five long seconds and held the stare, while all the parallel worlds, all the parallel lives that might have been and never would be,whirled around us”
This line sent me into raptures. Can you guess which book?

10.I wish I could paint really well.I wish I could use colours to say what I want. Brush Strokes would be conversation. Canvas would be life.

11. But then there were so many things I could have been.This might sound funny. But I wish I was a writer, a music writer, an architect, a sculptor,a dancer, singer, could play tennis, etc . Maybe I should try!

12. I am very surprised when people ask me, Do you know where you are headed to?Does anyone?I have no clue. Absolutely none. Do you?

13. Three things I want to see.
The Pyramids. The Great Barrier Reef. The Louvre.

14. I am a total Fish-terian.Anything Fish is a great meal.
Actually if I think about it..anything (excpet veggies!) is a good meal.

15. My digicam has become an extension of my hand.
Where I go, my digi goes. I love taking pictures. The favoured object of my digital affection is the sky. Have you ever seen anything as versatile as the sky?I paint different pictures for you:When the sun goes beyond grey clouds have you ever seen the way the edges of the clouds are set afire?When the sun is dipping at the horizon have you observed the way the coulours change from Bright yellow to gold to flaming orange to a mellow scarlet to deep crimson?I could go on…

16. I crib. like crazy. Its fun sometimes. Crib Crib Crib like old man Scroogie.Its quite therapeutic.

17. I think “You are weird” is a compliment.

18. I cannot tolerate people who ask too many questions. Some just dont know when to stop asking. I have no qualms about telling them to shut up.In that language.

19. I love Blue.
Blue is my favourite colour. I default tend to pick up stuff in blue when I go out.Most of my clothes are blue.My bag is blue.I write with only blue pens.I am thinking of getting blue streaks in my hair.Wherever colour choices are involved, blue always wins.

20. Today, I promise myself at least one blog post every month. Its a cool thing.

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That Airport feeling

December 21, 2006

I felt it for the first time when my little Ap left.
Crying. Eyes puffed. Red.
Those puffed red eyes on a white pale face.
That face which always used to laugh. Only that evening, the laugh had left its home.

The neon lights outside the airport glared at me angrily. At all of us. A bunch of little people, sad because a person we loved was going away.To a larger world, to a wider future.To an unknown horizon called New York.Maybe to return Maybe to not.
Crying.Eyes puffed.Red.

And then again when AK left.
Our funny appu with the-prince-of-my-heart dreams.The girl with the linda-goodman book.The girl who would not travel alone to vile parle from juhu, was going to New Jersey.Alone.
Crying.
Mom Crying.Dad Crying.Cousin Crying.
Soon the friends crying too. With that Airport feeling down in the base of our stomach.

And then again when BA left.To Australia.Only this time we didnt cry.
But that Airport feeling was lodged right there. Deep down there.

And then RV. Our “Uncle-Happ- Holi-Your-Wife-is-very-bholi” shouting RV.He who spoke so fast that we never understood what he said. Flew off.Just like that. To beautiful beaches and sunny lands in Mauritius.To working away from family and friends and not to return for three years. To somewhere else.
Again – That Airport Feeling

HD.When he left,everyone cried.Everyone.
The beautiful ones with the make up on.Not waterproof.The mascara ran down.The carefully applied compact streamed away. But the tears could not stop.
The guys with the tough image.Laughin and Dancing one minute and crying away the next.Break down.
Each one with his and her own version of that Airport feeling.
Canada was no longer cool.

Those huge airplanes.They take them all away.Somewhere.To a larger promise, I think.
To distant visions.To newer worlds.

All that remains with me is that Airport Feeling.

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Packaged Noodles and Promises

December 21, 2006

He said “Everything comes with an expiry date”. The list of things went something like this –

Airplane Tickets, Chocolates, Emotions, Chicken,Love, Promises, Attachments, Grenades, Friendship, Packaged Noodles, Prepaid cards, Smiles, Medicine Pills, Marriages, Car engines, People.

It struck me at that moment as…as what?
True? Unacceptable? True but unacceptable. True, unacceptable and ruthless.
Then if you spend sometime to think about it…its probably True and Ruthless and if you are able to Accept it then Comforting.

Probably.

I still haven’t been able to accept it. So the thought continues to be disturbing. Haunts me. In a way sort of goes against everything I have been taught. Everything that has been ingrained into my psyche.

I know its not something that I can accept and truly believe overnight.
Like lies.
Those are easy.
We believe them either because we really mistakenly think they are true or because its just easier to believe them than actually face and stand up to the truth.