That over-everything feeling

December 21, 2006


That over-discussed, over-sold, over-hyped, over-philosophized, over-cried over, over-sang about, over-photographed, over-wrote about, over-dreamt emotion.

Jaded. I know.
Yet, I am going to write about it.


Because in the course of my writing, I want to know exactly what it means for me.

I think its habit. Pure simple habit.
People start getting used to other people and to things. And then assume that this getting used to is the same as loving them. She sees a new bag, she starts using it, she gets comfortable with it and she starts loving it. Same way, She meets someone new, she starts spending time with him or her, gets comfortable in their company, and assumes that she has started loving them.
Habit, is getting used to. Habit is being comfortable with someone. Habit knows what to expect. Those incidentally are the exact words that people use to describe the feeling of being in love.

Then there is the big difference. The difference between “loving” someone and “being in love” with someone.
It’s so easy to love people. Doesn’t take too much. People are nice, people care for you and yes, they love you. And I love them back.. Going by what I have said, yes I am used to them and I love them. And I meet new people, get used to them and love them.
But falling in love? Does not happen!
Something prevents me from falling in love.
Maybe it’s a fear of not being loved back in the same way.
Maybe a belief that the perfect love that’s in my mind can never occur in real life.
Maybe the entrenched thought that love does not last and when it withers away, it hurts.
So I like you. I may even love you. But I cannot fall in love with you.

From here stems my belief that People are more in love with the concept of being in love than actually being in love.
When the concept itself is so hyped, packaged and sold wrapped in golden glitzy wrapping paper, buried in red velvet hearts, wrapped among teddy bears and sweetened with heart shaped chocolates that who cares about what they actually believe in? Who cares about what I think about it, when I can enjoy the gift giving and gift getting assuming and pretending that I am in love.

Of course, all those people out there in love, will vehemently disagree, outcry and deny everything that I just said. And they together will be a much louder voice than my tiny blog.
But hey this space is mine isn’t it? So I stick around here 🙂



  1. hmm u r talking abt the popular concept of love here and i totally agree with u here.

    but from time and again, we come across instances when people have done things for somebody else without really calling it love. they have made scarifices without being ask to do it, they have done things to make u smile without u showing the need for it. they sometimes even did it even when it gave them no pleasure.

    these instances show us tht perhaps we haven’t really understood the true nature of love, or wtever it is which makes a man or a woman endure unbelievable pain and suffering to just be with his companion of choice.

    if comfort and habit were the only things involved in love, then ud probably leave ur bf for a couch if u bought a nice plush leather one 😀

    behind the facade of love, is one big and often misunderstood aspect of humans.. and tht is the bodies themselves. haven’t u noticed? two bodies often speak to each other even without u or him speaking a word. this connection is a natural phenomenon triggered by ur bodies. wht makes this chemistry work? and makes this chemistry not work?

    u r right in telling tht u cannot fall in love and tht u dont believe in it. perhaps u dont have to.

    in my opinion, its useless to give it a name. if i feel attracted to u or u feel attracted to me, why not call it just tht – Attraction, and stop calling an apple a fig 😀

    Why dress it up like a poodle in a pink sweater and call it love? why brand our feelings? why categorize them? why even mention them!

    i made a conscious decision tht i will never try to name the feelings i have for a woman. other than what the feelings really are. if its physical attraction, i call it physical attraction. if it is comfort, it is comfort. if it is lust, it is lust. i dont know how many women will like to know wht i exactly feel abt them… as u said.. most people r lost in the idea of being in love and expect things to match the concept of love.

    in fact…

    the only time i approve of the word is when i say

    I want to make love to u. LOL (u – universal pronoun for all the lovelies)

  2. He: So what do you think?
    She: I love you for this 😉
    He: I know.
    She: Of course you do.
    He: Do did you like my view about it?
    She: Am deciding.
    He: About the last statement or the entire comment?
    She: Both.
    He: To be true to my views, I’ll say that I mean it :0)
    She: I never doubted that.
    He: I meant about the last statement.
    She: I was also talking about the last statement.
    He: Hahahaha, good! Our frequency tuning is flawless.
    She: Does that put me higher up in the race for your preference among all the loevelies?
    He: You are the only one baby. Priority zero is assigned to you.Rest of the list is empty.
    She:Liar. I thought you said universal pronoun.I prefer the plush leather couch.

  3. wht to do.. my universe revolves around u 😛

  4. […] Thoughts, Not exactly hate…. just anti-love — by someonearbit @ 11:59 am One of my posts elicited a longish […]

  5. a longish what?

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