Do and Dont do.

I love you so much for all the things that you say and do.
But sometimes…just sometimes I love you so much more for all those things that you don’t say…or don’t do.

Mad?

The only reason I allow myself to be mad at you is because I am mad about you.

Love

Love-Spazsim Chasm
Anti-love – Spazsim Chasm

Love of another kind – Someonearbit

She tries to breathe through the smoke. Another chicken burnt to the bones.
Damn! But she knows, he wont mind.

She opens the door for him to walk in.
He comes in and lays his head in her lap. Looks at her adoringly as she lays out the chicken.

Sniffing it, he wags his tail

Distant Love – Spazsim Chasm

To read the entire series click here

Disconnect

“ I love you” (Does she believe me anymore?)
“ I love you too.” (He thinks I still believe him)
“ I have missed you” (I wonder if she missed me)
“ I have missed you too.” (I wish I could still believe him)

Lies

Lies X

“Hello. its me. I wont be able to make it to work today. Feeling a little feverish, and will be sleeping all day. My phone might be switched off.” Click. That was easy.

Then he straightens his tie, picks up the folder, checks his CV for the last time and steps out of his door.

—————————————————————
Lies XII

Just out of a meeting, she rushes back to check the next 55 fun story that must have been posted.

On her desk she stares at the long to-do list in her planner. Thinks of the post-lunch deadline.

Smirking, closes the planner, opens the word document and starts her response to lies XI – non fiction.

—————————————————————

To check out the rest of the series click here

Liberation

Liberation I- Wiseling

Liberation II – Someonearbit

Walking into his room, the first thing he noticed was the cigarette. Stubbed exactly in the middle of the square ashtray. The familiar smear of maroon lipstick. He could still smell the now dissolved smoke rings.
With a wry smile he thought of the letters now lying under her door.
Exactly eighty nine steps away.

Maybe

Maybe – Spazsim Chasm

Maybe II – Someonearbit

Everyday I would pretend to be annoyed when she asked me her pet question.
I loved the way she stroked me while asking the question.
Everyday I annoyed her by saying “No”
Then one day I replied “Maybe”
She never asked the question after that. I still wait.
Wonder if I said the wrong thing!

Everyday

Everyday I – Wiseling
Everyday II – Revealed

Everyday III

They watched him nervously clutching his cup, stealing glances at her. Seemingly oblivious to his attention, she puffed away elegantly. Then as he walked towards her she stiffened but relaxed as he walked past. A look of disappointment flickered on her face for an instance.

“ Damn! The coward!”
They exchanged the dollar. Everyday.

Everyday IV – Confused and Baffled

Everyday V

Faintly amused, she looked at him stride towards her.

She knew the routine.
Last minute loss of confidence, an unnecessary trip to the bar, the dollar being exchanged. Everyday.

So she was startled at “You are Jesse’s friend?”
“Yes”.
“Can you help me find her?”
She slumped back..

They didn’t exchange the dollar that day.

To read the entire series click here

Three Meme

Tagged by Ideasmith to tell Forty-five things about myself.

Still no clue why I am doing this…. but here is that little bit of me.

1. Three things that scare me:

Falling in Love
Losing control
Waking up one day and discovering humour has been eradicated from this world.

2. Three people that make me laugh:

Manu
Asmita
Garfield (The Fat Kat)

3. Three things I don’t really like:

Heavy Metal music.
Answering too many irrelevant questions.
The question “Log kya kahenge?”

4. Three things I don’t understand:

Paperwork (Finance,Insurance,whichever)
How people can eat Mushrooms (it’s fungus for god’s sake!)
Sexual Politics.

5. Three things I’m doing right now:

Reading “The curious incident of the dog in the night”
Learning Spanish.
Planning a month-long vacation.

6. Three things I want to do before I die:

Visit London, Paris, Athens, Sydney, New York, Hawai….. you know what I mean!
Spend one entire December in Goa.
Write a book

7. Three things I can do:

Guzzle Vodka like its the last bottle in the world.
Go and do exactly what I want to do.
Laugh my heart out and really mean it.

8. Three ways to describe my personality:

Volatile.
Careless.
Explosive when mixed with Non-sense.

9. Three things I can’t do:

Sing.
Work on a weekend.
Lie.

10. Three things I think you should listen to:

Pink Floyd.
The sounds of the jungle in an actual forest.
Silence.

11. Three things you should never listen to:

Himesh Reshamiyya.
Idle Gossip about your friends.
“No” for something that you want badly.

12. Three things I’d like to learn:

Para Gliding.
Oil Painting.
Keeping my feelings from showing on my face.

13. Three favorite foods:

Sizzlers at Yokos.
Butter or Cheese Toast.
Ami’s Brain.

14. Three beverages I drink regularly:

Humour.
Water.
Iced Tea.

15. Three shows I watched as a kid:

He-man
Giant Robot.
Fun-time

16. Three people I’m tagging (to do this):

Shreyasi
Manuscrypts
Shwami

Nomads

Wiseling’s Fifty Five Fun fiction appealed to me. A super idea.

This is my first attempt at Fifty Five Fun.

Nomad and Nomad 2 gave rise to Nomads.

NOMADS

We laugh. We talk. We play. We share. But we are afraid to allow ourselves to really care. History taught us lessons we should not have learned. And so we never fight.

Being with each other could have always felt like being on an exciting vacation – but could have never felt like being home.

Actually….

….I would trust you with my life, but not with my heart.

– Anon

Identity Crisis

Having a complicated name can land you in funny situations. And with an Identity Crisis mostly.

Someone in my team is called Delzad Billimoria. D-E-L-Z-A-D. Pronounced just like that – D-E-L-Z-A-D.

But through his life he has been called by about twenty-eight different names.
For the first month after he joined my team, I used to call him Delnaz. (err…that’s a girls name). He very patiently even used to answer me. Once when I quizzed him about it, he said it didn’t bother him anymore.
“Anymore???” I asked.
“Yeah”, he said.”I have been called Delnaz all my life. I am used to it.”

Once someone stood at the other end of office and called him very loudly “DILSHAAD!!”
We of course burst out laughin.

For the first one month, T used to say “Can you please call him”. Then I would ask Delzad to speak to T. That’s because she was never sure what his name was!

Once he received a parcel in the courier addressed to “DILBAAZ BILLYMORIYA.”

The icing on the cake was the following episode.
The first time Delzad and his new client were speaking on the phone and Delzad started by saying “Hi. I am Delzad from ACNielsen”. Then they went on to discuss some project for about twenty minutes.
After they hung up, Delzad sms-ed his cell number to the client. He ended the sms with “Delzad”. In a few minutes he got a call from the same client. The conversation that followed had us laughing continuously for the next two days.

C (hurriedly): hi. Who is this?
D (Calmly): Its me. Delzad.
C (Impatiently): Who Delzad?
D (Calmly): We just spoke.
C (Impatiently): No we didn’t!
D (Calmly): Yes we did. For twenty minutes. We just discussed the xyz project.
C: (Incredulously). I discussed it with someone. But it was not you.
D: (Calmly): Yes it was me! DELZAD from ACNIELSEN?
C: (Sheepishly): Oh! Your name is Delzad? I thought it was NELSON.

Some identity crisis this is!

You look quite similar

“Arre tujhe vahan pe in sab chinkiyon ke beech distinguish karne hota hai kya? I can never tell two of them apart. They all look the same!”

This was the most heard comment (or “observation” if you want to call it that!), when I announced that I was scheduled to fly off to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a five-day training. I was also going to extend the stay into a holiday in Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia.

Hmm… I ruminated over the statement. “That’s quiet a racist comment to make. I mean I am sure all those east Asian fair skinned, thin, straight black haired, eyes-like-tiny-slits people can distinguish their own selves form the others. And hey, its just a matter of time till I am able to confidently say “Hey YOU are not the one I sat next to for yesterday’s class!” without wondering if I was actually confident.”

Anyways, so there I was, attending a class with 2 other Indian women, one Sri Lankan guy and about 43 fair skinned, thin, straight black haired, eyes-like-tiny-slits people.
Third day, a few of the class decide to go out for dinner. I agreed to go along. Five minutes at the dinner table and the fair skinned, thin, straight black haired, eyes-like-tiny-slits girl sitting next to me asked, “Hey how did it go?”

I blinked twice, struggling to remember if I had an earlier conversation with any of them talking about something that I was gonna do or that was gonna happen to me or something terribly important that was gonna happen in my life. To make matters worse, I wasn’t even sure that I would have had it with her.

When eventually after what felt like years of struggling, I decided that no I hadn’t. So I said “I am so sorry but I have no idea what you are talking about. How did ‘what’ go?

Now it was her turn to blink back at me with those tiny eyes – stare for two minutes and say the words that almost choked me.
“Oh…sorry. It wasn’t you. Guess it was your friend. The two of you look so similar that I can’t tell the difference!”

Effects of Reading THE TRIOLOGY IN FOUR PARTS

The cover said “Don’t Panic”. I didnt. I had suspected that the series would have an effect on me – symptoms of which would be blabbering incoherently about intergalactic travelers and strange large pink winged insects. And also dreaming about becoming a two headed president of the galaxy and believing that hob-nobbing with a maniacally depressed robot would show me the ultimate meaning of life. But I didnt Panic. I didn’t realize that I had become this fluent at talking the Ford Prefect talk. That too at 2.15 a.m. in the morning.

Me: hey
He: whts up
Me: not much
He: thought so. u never sound intelligent at this hour
Me: i don’t think that’s specific to this hour
its specific to u.. u just elicit those responses in me.. u compel me to talk to u in your own language. u have that sheer power to get me doing what u do all the time
He: alas its not the power to make u do wht i want u to do
Me: thank the flaberfasters for that
He: now didn’t remind me of them. already had a fit of laughter at their expense in the morning didn’t i
Me: why? they remind u of the terrible gastrongermitical flagentypfors?
He: no no. over beer me and my co-conspirator were sniggering abt our feat. We let those morons reach their destination
poor sods.
serves them right when they meet the slartiblasters. Hahahahahaha (his wicked plan laughter)
Me: yeah..they are gonna be slaughtered. probably put in to the vortex beater
He: sad lot anyways. Ok..chk out this link.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50124820/
Me: what is it? cant figure out. strawberry? too less light
He: duh open your eyes sweetheart. It is a strawberry re!!!
Me: oh.. i thought it was marvin’s brain
He:http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50122938/
Me: thats on Galathea no? I remember seeeing this scene there last Grasday
FYI wednesdays on Galathea are knows as Grasdays
He: naaa, taken today
Me: but which planet?
He: dont remember. just was passing by
Me: aaaahh. its very beautiful. Can I use it as my wallpaper on the screen of my intergalactic travel fizzbuzzer. most of the time..all I get to see is boring stars everywhere
He: ah! well my drive got spoilt. Too much gravitic attraction. always just barely managed to skim by planets
Me: very sweet
He: gnite hun. me off
Me: nightie piety fightie sightie.
hon
bon
son
fon
offie foffie..goffiee coffee
tumtum tumtum
He: u forgot tweedle dee tweedle dum
Me: no..
He: yes u did
Me: I fought with tweedle today. I don’t wanta sing her name. She refused to believe me when I told her I bought my fluggerfust vortex from the flea market in margathea for 44 knutsicks. She says I am lying
He: i agree
Me: she insists its for 65
He: u r crapping. ppuuhhh
Me: i told u ..u elicit that response in me…compel me to do what u do all the time
He: Indeed. Good night.
Me: Night. Bye

Sapphires

She froze at the first sight of him in the bookstore aisle. He was walking towards her with that familiar lazy walk. She could hear the voice in her head screaming for her to turn and hide her body behind some shelf. But her eyes refused to leave him. She remained rooted to the spot as he slowly walked towards her turning the pages of the magazine he carried. He had not seen her yet. If only she could make her legs obey, she could avoid him. Avoid the long silence that would follow. Avoid that smoldering gaze that made her insides melt every time he looked at her. But she could not. As he looked up from his magazine, he halted, slowly exhaled and in his characteristically relaxed way of going about everything, simply walked up to her. But he knew that she had caught the infinitely small moment where he had breathed in sharply as he saw her and his eyes flicked with disbelief. She knew that he could sense the turmoil inside her and would spare her the need to talk.
The first feel of his soft hand on her elbow unfroze her. She shuddered and her car keys slipped from her hands. As he bent down to pick them up, she tried to smile but she could see that it wasn’t expected. As he gently steered her towards the cashier’s desk, it didn’t seem important for her to ask where they were headed. She could not even remember what she had come to the store for.
They both remembered vividly. The last time they had sat below the red and white umbrellas of the café. The sunlight had danced in his eyes that beautiful morning. He had never looked as handsome. He had smiled shyly as he had slowly extracted a small green box from his pocket. She remembered being extremely jumpy, wanting to know what was inside but trying to keep a cool face. He had known she was nervous. He had smiled, teased her about her about her curiosity and put the box back in his pocket saying it was for someone else. She had recovered quickly from the shock, stared hard at him for two minutes while he laughed and then walked around the table to his side to kiss him with a ferocity that he still remembered. He had then given her the ear-rings, two brilliantly crafted deep blue sapphires set in sparkling white gold.

The ear rings had a small thread looped through them – he asked her to break it only when she wore them the first time. She didn’t ask why. As she promised him she would, she remembered looking at him and wondering what she would do without him. Now she knew.
Now as they sat in silence, sipping on their coffee, both searched for something from that sunny morning in the others eyes. They wrapped the street noise and the busy morning café sounds around themselves sparing the other the need for conversation. As they stood up to say good bye, she rushed into him for a brief second and he held her tight. When their lips finally parted, they held the gaze for a long while. Then she walked away and never looked back, crossing the street and turning into the lot to where she had parked her car. Something inside her head told her to leave the street as soon as possible. As she neared her car, she put her hand inside her purse for the keys and realized she had not picked them up when she dropped them at the store. She remembered him picking them up and hoped that she could still reach him walking away from the café if she walked fast enough. She knew he would head off from the café in the direction opposite to the one she had taken.
As she rushed back towards the café, she slowed down a few metres away from the table where they had coffee. He was sitting there waiting for her. With the same calm, unruffled look that he always wore. As she walked towards him, she became increasingly aware of her body, of the way he looked at her with the hint of a half smile on his face, of knowing that he had known about the keys even before she had left. As she neared him she extended her hand to take the keys. He stood up, put his hand inside his pocket and extracted the two tiny little blue and white rings, he had discovered in his pocket as she had walked away from the café. The thread band unbroken.
As she looked at the rings, a solitary tear ran down her cheek and she slowly lowered her outstretched hand,while he broke open the thread.
And then as he moved closer to her, he knew that she had not worn ear-rings since that last sunny morning. Now as he looped them into her ears, she knew she would not be taking them off for a very long time. She knew that he knew too.
And it was then as she walked away for the second time, she knew why he had held on to the car keys. He had wanted her to come back, to break the thread that would set them free for the last time.

Hopes

She: Hmmm..I wonder what it will be like to have sex with a Non-Indian!
He: Yeah, he probably will have herpes and AIDS.
She: You are so POSITIVE!
He: Listen babe…why don’t you have sex with me instead of ogling at all these firangs?
She: You are SO positive!
He: Seriously! I am sure you will enjoy!
She: YOU are so positive!

Loved lines and loved songs.

I am a music lover – just like the rest of us are. My day is not complete if I dont listen to a few select favourite songs. Of course, like the seasons, my favourite(s) for the time also keep(s) changing.

My curent most-played list is Kiss from a Rose, Casablanca, Time, Brain Damage, While my guitar gently weeps, Strawberry Fields forever, Brand New Day, Baker Street and Wake me up when September ends.
There was a time when this list was completely different. And there will be a time when it will be changed again.

While I love the entire song, more often than not there is one line in the song which I wait for most eagerly. Its usually one line that carries the whole soul of the song for me. Am going to keep updating this list as and when I discover old and new songs.

A kiss is not a kiss without your sigh. (Casablanca)

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave (Hotel California)

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun (Time)

And drivin down the road I get a feeling, that I should have been home yesterday, yesterday (Country Roads)

Another year and then youd be happy
Just one more year and then youd be happy (Baker Street)

Love remained a drug thats the high and not the pill. (Kiss from a rose)

As my memory rests, But never forgets what I lost. (Wake me up..)

Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Till then I walk alone (Boulevard of broken dreams)

I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life (Coming back to life)

You gotta live in your dreams…Dont make them so hard. (These are the hands that built America)

You’re so self satisfied I dont need you. (I want to break free)

You cant start a fire, you cant start a fire without a spark (Dancing in the dark)

We all end in the ocean, We all start in the streams
Were all carried along, By the river of dreams (River of Dreams)

If youre lost you can look and you will find me. (Time after time)

I got too much life, Running through my veins. (Feel)

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you. (Powerless)

I think I thought I saw you try. (Losing my religion)