Cuckoo’s Nest

Watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest this weekend.

One word review – Human.

Jack is crazy as ever.

Pitt-er Truth

So K turns 26 and has succesfully maintained her single status for 26 long years. On her budday…

M:

K…i hope til now being in the big US of A you have hooked up with at least 1 australian + 1 british + 1 german + 1 chinese + 1 latin guy.
If you havent shame on you and go get one for your happy budday as my budday gift to you.

K:

Err….

A:

K …kaisi hai….tera track record ladko ke bare main same hai na….good!!!
u havnt dissappointed us,even after goin to US….n dnt worry prince charming in rite thr in the corner,will walk in at the rite time!!!u just hang in thr,dnt change(stop listening to M’s advices,she was never good at them)…
n all the best!!

K:

Umm….

M:

K….that prince charming is a fairy tale. I am telling you. I am dispensing free advise….like baz luhermaan said in his sunscreen speech ….. A is only being nice to you..I am telling you the truth…..noone comes along riding a white horse and looking like brad pitt….. those who have horses and look like pitt and already busy laying all the angelina jolie lookalikes with those sexy legs, all over the world. I maybe sounding like scrooge’s mother or something but I swear ..I am not lying.

Now THATS the wisest piece of wisdom I have heard in ages.
Lol.

Meaning of Meaning.

After a long tiring day at work… in one of those dull-momentary-lapse-of-energy-I-cannot-work-anymore-Lemmegoyoualldickheads-phewwww moments I looked at R and A who sit behind me and genereally mused “Do you guys think there is any meaning in what we are doing? Do you think there is any meaning to our lives?” with all the existensial angst I could possibly muster.

R, drowning in a days work of factor analysis, regression co-efficients and multivariate correlations, staring at the screen with unblinking red eyes, had not even registered what I said,when her tongue shot out ” Meaning? What is that? What is the meaning of meaning?”

Lol.

She didnt see the irony in that statement. Poor R. I think she is dying.

Yeh chinese mast hai !

Saturday evening, in a techie mall which sells Laptops, mobiles, PDAs, MP3 Players and all other existing electronic gadgets:

Me: iPod hai?
He: Haan hain.
Me: Kitna?
He: Original?
Me: Haan.
He (with a flourish): 1 GB – 450, 2 GB – 550, 4 GB – 700, 8 GB – 900. Sab MP3 players hain. Isme video nahi chalta…sirf gaana.
Me: (spotting a garish shiny bright magenta pink iPod on the shelf … complete with the iPod plastic box, screen, dial, the Apple logo and the iPod branding..and shocked at the garish horrendous shade of shiny bright magenta pink)… woh dikhayenge?
He (handing me the piece): Yeh? Yeh copy hai.
Me (quizzical expression on my face): Matlab?
He: Original nahi hai.
Me: Matlab prototype hai na? Box hai na sirf? Theek hai. Dikhao.
He: Nahi nahi…. yeh copy hai.
Me: Matlab?
He (frowning slightly at my apparent stupidity)– Chinese maal.
Me: Matlab?
He (frowing more): Matlab China se aaya hai. Copy hain.
Me (Suddenly the little tube light inside my head lighting up) – Oh..matlab fraud hai?
He (Chest puffing out, looking like I made him swallow a raw live mosquito) – Copy hai.
Me: Matlab wohi , fraud hai na?
He (incensed): Nahi Copy hai. Jyada features hai.
Me: Kya?
He: (with the air of a guy spreading out Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa before me) : Screen Bada hai. Video Chalta hai. In built Speakers hai. FM station bhi chalta hai. Yeh sab iPod ke is version main nahi aata.
Me (wonderstruck): Accha? Kitna?
He: 2 GB – 120.
Me: What????
He (with an almost pitiful expression): 120.
Me: 2 GB iPod kitna tha?
He: 525.
Me: Itna farak?
He (Smirking): Haan. Who Chinese maal sab ekdum aise hi milega aapko. Ekdum budget main fit aur original se jyada features hote hain. Aur ekdum fit chalta hai. Yeh chinese mast hai !

Ashamed

And I really wished I could fade into the background,
A world, impervious to light and devoid of sound
Oh! Don’t worry, I am not depressed and all,
Was just snoozing in a corner of the conference hall
When the speaker called on me, and snoring I was found

I will anyways write

He wrote and posted for his own sake,
An identity, neither true nor a fake
An aching episode in a masked story
An ideal proclaimed in its own glory
He wrote with his own unknown intention
Neither for memory nor anyone’s retention
Composed on his own individual belief
Sometimes just as a break or relief
Sometimes just his own little point of view
An idea that spurted in his mind and grew
Based in his own thoughts and situations
Open to everyone’s subjective interpretations
Now if she read it and she thought
That to tell her something, he actually sought
Without him asking her to read it
She read and identified, because it nicely fit
With what she wanted. Drew her own conclusions
Decided to live under her own delusions
Went ahead and altered her life
Caused some heartache and no less strife
And he stopped writing, went about feeling guilty
I ask you, is it his responsibility?
And that left him with a bitter taste
Feeling that posting on the net, was a waste
On ambiguous posts like the one you are reading, there should be a block.
No one should be allowed to generally blog
About things that can be interpreted in another way
Only things that are specific should be allowed to say
A post open to meanings is a dangerous game
What was written and understood may not be the same
And in that exactly is what I see the mystery
Of different imaginations coloring history
In their own different worlds they fit the word
And for once, each one thinks for his own and not as a herd
And there goes on this pro-and-against blog fight
And while it goes on, on this blog, I will anyways write

Hello Homer

O.K.

He drives nails through his finger everytime he is nailing boards onto the roof. He throws his son off the roof and is a perfect slob when it comes to lying at home watching TV.
He lives with a Pig who shits like there is no tomorrow and then goes and dumps all that shit into the one lake his daughter is trying to save.
He then goes bizarre by running off to alaska and comes back to save his town from the bomb.

Mad.

My first date with Homer was a roller coaster twisted around sixty eight times. I know its late, but well….. Homer isnt going anywhere, so its all right.

You HAVE to go for the crazy crazy movie which starts off by telling you that you are such a ridiculous fool to pay to watch something you anyways get to watch for free.. Audacious, I tell ya….

Eleven Hours

Oh…by the way..the discovery of the weekend.

A one hour filipino massage can put you into deep slumber for eleven hours straight.

O.K. 2

O.K.

The last time I had this feeling was when I watched the movie ‘American Beauty’ for the first time.

I cannot describe what I felt.
Actually because I didnt feel anything.
Actually no. It was more because I didnt know what to feel.

Kind of weird actually.

I didnt feel happy and I didnt feel sad. I didnt feel lost yet I didnt feel I complete. Mixed? No. Clear? No.

Just a feeling which felt like feeling something which is like nothing.

Hmmm…..

O.K.

O.K.

I just finished the Deathly Hallows and all I can think of saying is What the Fuck!

Paradox of Matrimony

And I logged in into gtalk….. broke into a smile on seeing him online (I missed him..not seeing him for so many months!) and instantly said a hi! (just that…one hi!)

And he blasted….

cool
tu bata
the world is filled with hypocrites
and there is never a true love
man as a creature chooses to be unhappy by choice
choice fuckin spoils him
hence i will only get married to the girl my mom finds for me cuz then i wont have a choice
i will blindly let my self believe she is choosing the best chick out there
and i agree here to I am making a choice which i knw i
will regret but i have negated the paradox of choice by not choosing and thus put the burden of suffering it on my folks
what a load of crap
i can finally breathe

I love you dude!

Tring from the past

Hello…Hello!
Yes, this is the 1930’s ……

I walked into this swanky-polished-shiny surface-glass topped bakery-eatery and straight run into this 1930’s look alike tring-tringg…..
…could not help smiling

I’m Free… Free Falling into nothing

O.K.

Ginger Girl ticks off one more item from her list of things to do before she dies.

This weekend, Ginger rejected sitting inside walls,
Ginger went up into the sky and had a great fall.

From 9000 ft.

Let me attempt to describe this. No amount of imagination can prepare you for what you experience there.

Words are not enough to understand what you have no time to feel when you are mid air.

You tumble out of the plane into nothingness.
There are no defined lines – you don’t know where the sky starts or earth ends.
Everything is one blur – it’s the color of noise.
You are hurtling towards the earth and you see desert and sea everywhere below you
The air pressure pulls the skin back from your face and roars in your ears…..
You cannot breathe for those seconds of free fall.
It lasts for 30 seconds, feels like 30 years.

You cannot believe that you are actually crazy enough to do this. Jump out of a plane.

Then when it’s over, you look back at the sky and promise yourself you will do this again.

(Yep…thats the plane my Dive Master and I jumped out of.)

Wrong side of the bed.

1: Today, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

2: At least you had a right side. All sides of my bed are wrong.

3: Shaddup you both. At least you both woke up. I am still asleep. That too on one of the wrong sides. Dont know and dont care which one.

4: You guys are lucky. Only wrong sides. I woke up in the wrong bed.

The five steps program to hand washing.

I did’nt know it was so difficult to wash hands after pissing.

(Taken in one of the restaurants nearby.
I walked into the bathroom, walked out, snatched my camera from my bag, walked in again and did this little bit of serious photography.

K and S are still reeling under the shock)

Shahani Mulgi

11.18 a.m.
I change my gtalk line to “is a shahani mulgi”.
So my gtalk reads – “Ginger Girl – is a shahani mulgi”

1.16 p.m.
Lunch time. Starved. Waiting for the lunch to arrive.

Have ordered for two people. K and me.
K walks out of his room. Heads straight towards me.

He (Hurriedly) : Have you ordered?
Me (absorbed in an excel sheet):Yes.
He: Wat have you called for?
Me: (Not looking up) Chicken.
He: You called for shahani mulgi?
Me (fingers stop typing) : eh?
He: Your gtalk says shahani mulgi.
Me (stumped) : err….
He: Isnt that what you have ordered for?
Me: umm…err….
He (curiously): What?
Me (taking a deep breath): K, what does shahani mulgi mean?
He (Shrugging): I don’t know!
Me (Deeper breath): Take a guess. What do “you” think it means?
He (Larger shrug): No clue.
Me (Sucking all the oxygen in the room): Then why did you ask.
He (Alarmed):Sounds like chicken
Me (Cant help grinning): Like Shahi Murgi or something?
He (sheepishly) :Yes
Me (Exhaling) : Why will I say I am a variety of Chicken?
He (sheepishly) : Err…I don’t know.

“Shahani mulgi” means “Nice girl”.

*————————————-*

To dramatize his ignorance K goes and changes his gtalk line to “shoot me….crucify me… for i dint know what Shahani Mulgi is!!!!”

Phew

Now
Run!
Hurry!!
Quick!!!
Urgent!!!
Right now!!!!
Triiiiinnnnngggg!!!!
Please take this up. (WTF!!!!!)
We HAVE to do this right away!(Yeah!!!!!!)

Phew.

Yep, he’s got it right

So our office server suddenly falls ill and developed some problem at 3.46 p.m. one woman from her corner wails panic-stricken “my internet explorer is not working!”

And the instant response from the guy next to her is “Chalo, everyone – go home”

yummy yummy yumm yum

Only two things.
Only two things can make everyone break into a smile in the middle of a long weary boring stressful working day.

On of them is Ice Creaaaammmmmmmmmmm …..mummmmm yummmmm yummmm…

Four guys in office just treated the rest of the junta to ice cream – they got promoted.
yummy yummy yum yum.

I want to kiss the guy who invented Ice Cream.

Its still the same

The first book that my 26 year old roomie bought on landing in this country, far away from Mumbai was a Famous Five. Yes. You read right. Enid Blyton.

When I saw it for the first time, I didn’t know how to react. My instant reaction was to crease my brow and say, “huh? Babe have you lost it?”
She shyly smiled and squirmed a bit and baby-whined “What to do? I love it yaar!”

I raised my eyebrows and went O K k k k k k. She said she would be reading late, I said all right, I am sleeping.

Next morning while both my roomies were asleep, I stumbled into the kitchen, fixed myself some breakfast and then yawned my way into the living room.
There…right on the table the book stated at me. Green cover, promise of three Famous five adventures. A caricature of Timmy, Anne and George in one little picture and Dick and Julian in another.
Me: ‘Hey…. It’s them!’
The Other Me: ‘Ya so? Come one babe, your days of famous five are over! Wake up!’
Me: ‘Hmm….says who? I can still flick through a few pages eh?
The Other Me: ‘Are you crazy. You are gonna read Famous Five? Get a grip!’
Me: ‘What’s wrong?”
The Other Me: ‘You are too old and grown up for this!’
Me: Yes, that’s why I am snuggling up in my socks and shorts and mickey mouse t-shirt into the kitchen to eat chocolate crisps for breakfast? And laugh at tom and jerry in the evenings?
The Other Me: ‘Uh oh…’

Next thing I knew, I was snuggled up on the couch pacing through the Famous Five. I can tell you, they are still as charming. 🙂

Star Blogger

I wish the guy who wrote this would start blogging. I would even pay money to be able to read his blog. (this is actually put up in the elevator and at the main entrance of my building)

Jack

She asked me “Can u temme the difference between ‘Jack’ and the ‘Jackass’?

“Jackass will definitely be interesting.
Cant say the same about Jack…….unless…his last name is Daniels “

Hmmm…..

Don’t ask me why…..
But these are the type of obtuse conversations I have ….almost everyday. I dont know why but most of them end with a ‘Hmmm…’

He: Hi. What happened? Didn’t like the new city?
Me: Not that..sexy hai. just main pak gayi. mujhe mumbai chahiye. pani puri chahiye. juhu beach + prithvi chahiye
He: hehe. so u quit?
Me: no no. not yet
He: I thought u were happy to get away
Me: I was. I never denied. I am just tired of being happy. Now i want to be sad
He: strange
Me: hmm..Not really…..

He: where do u get the photographs for ur blog..they r v interesting
Me: have u hear of a website called google.com?
He: google….gooooggglleeeee…i guess i hv. is it the one that was our best friend during our summer project and most of our MBA days
Me: yes same place.
He: and still comes handy when we want to flick a readymade report on something
Me: they throw up images also at you if you ask nicely
He: hmmm…

He: Why did you move countries?
Me: more money + good profile + another culture +another country + run away from shaadi + opportunity to travel. just exactly like everyone else. am not very different from most ppl.
He: Its only a myth that we are different, we r all same, the sooner we realise this the better it it”
Me: (In my mind) yeah..I wish. Hmmmm….

He:…blah.blah.blah…And that was the joke. Ha Ha.
Me: U r crazy.
He: I was sane…u made me crazy.
Me: lol…..i dont apologise….
He: Hmmm…..

Me: ok. byebye. love ya. tata
He: birla
Me: horrendous sense of humour
He: heheheh. thnks you
But dont you think it is super fun when you ask ppl dum question with sincereity
Me: of course it is. its very funny
He: Hmmmm..

Chicken Wings!!!!

Oh God.

I am sitting in office. And I cant stop laughing. I have been laughing since morning. Someone help me.

—————————————————————

The perennially depressed,always skeptical,all-time pessimistic guy next to me is cribbing about chicken wings.

And in the past few minutes, its become his expletive.
Instead of saying “Oh fuck!”…he says “Chicken Wings!”

Psyched

I did it. I Psyched him out. Even without going out with him.
He asked me half a question. I answered six questions before he completed the first question.
He forgot the rest of the question.
And also any questions he might have had after or before that question.

dum dum.

Exhilaration

Thats how I look in my mind right now….

No explainations…….Just that.
Hmph.

101 on 100

Eeeeeeppss….
Just realised I posted my 100th post with my picture below. (Not exactly my idea of what my 100th post should have been..but well…whats done is done)

Keeping in line with the tradition of vanity I shall accept all you ungiven/unsaid/unspoken congratulations.

Yes, please gifts are perfectly acceptable.

Well..yeah..the applause was a little too loud..but I will bear it with a smile.And a little bow to you all.

And yes…the little poem that you composed in my honour can be posted in the comments section. Thank you.

Predictability

Me: (Hysterically) Damn, where are my earphones?
He: Maybe you left them in the cab?
Me: (rummaging through my bag) Oh god..Oh god….ha! found! ..shit..no.thats the phone charger cord..freak…aaah!! got them..thats them.phew.
He: (amused) Ok k kkk
Me: (sheepishly) You know, I dont lose things usually coz I am too careful. I am just afraid I will lose them.
He: Yeah, just like with people.
Me: (biting my lip) – Damn!I knew that was coming. I realised it, the minute I said that sentence.
He: Fuck! Am I so predictable? You knew what I was gonna say?
Me: (smirking) yes. happy realisation to you!
He: Damn! I knew that was coming. I realised it the minute I said what I said.
Me: God!..we are becoming so boring.
He: Yeah….

Identity Crisis

Having a complicated name can land you in funny situations. And with an Identity Crisis mostly.

Someone in my team is called Delzad Billimoria. D-E-L-Z-A-D. Pronounced just like that – D-E-L-Z-A-D.

But through his life he has been called by about twenty-eight different names.
For the first month after he joined my team, I used to call him Delnaz. (err…that’s a girls name). He very patiently even used to answer me. Once when I quizzed him about it, he said it didn’t bother him anymore.
“Anymore???” I asked.
“Yeah”, he said.”I have been called Delnaz all my life. I am used to it.”

Once someone stood at the other end of office and called him very loudly “DILSHAAD!!”
We of course burst out laughin.

For the first one month, T used to say “Can you please call him”. Then I would ask Delzad to speak to T. That’s because she was never sure what his name was!

Once he received a parcel in the courier addressed to “DILBAAZ BILLYMORIYA.”

The icing on the cake was the following episode.
The first time Delzad and his new client were speaking on the phone and Delzad started by saying “Hi. I am Delzad from ACNielsen”. Then they went on to discuss some project for about twenty minutes.
After they hung up, Delzad sms-ed his cell number to the client. He ended the sms with “Delzad”. In a few minutes he got a call from the same client. The conversation that followed had us laughing continuously for the next two days.

C (hurriedly): hi. Who is this?
D (Calmly): Its me. Delzad.
C (Impatiently): Who Delzad?
D (Calmly): We just spoke.
C (Impatiently): No we didn’t!
D (Calmly): Yes we did. For twenty minutes. We just discussed the xyz project.
C: (Incredulously). I discussed it with someone. But it was not you.
D: (Calmly): Yes it was me! DELZAD from ACNIELSEN?
C: (Sheepishly): Oh! Your name is Delzad? I thought it was NELSON.

Some identity crisis this is!

You look quite similar

“Arre tujhe vahan pe in sab chinkiyon ke beech distinguish karne hota hai kya? I can never tell two of them apart. They all look the same!”

This was the most heard comment (or “observation” if you want to call it that!), when I announced that I was scheduled to fly off to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a five-day training. I was also going to extend the stay into a holiday in Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia.

Hmm… I ruminated over the statement. “That’s quiet a racist comment to make. I mean I am sure all those east Asian fair skinned, thin, straight black haired, eyes-like-tiny-slits people can distinguish their own selves form the others. And hey, its just a matter of time till I am able to confidently say “Hey YOU are not the one I sat next to for yesterday’s class!” without wondering if I was actually confident.”

Anyways, so there I was, attending a class with 2 other Indian women, one Sri Lankan guy and about 43 fair skinned, thin, straight black haired, eyes-like-tiny-slits people.
Third day, a few of the class decide to go out for dinner. I agreed to go along. Five minutes at the dinner table and the fair skinned, thin, straight black haired, eyes-like-tiny-slits girl sitting next to me asked, “Hey how did it go?”

I blinked twice, struggling to remember if I had an earlier conversation with any of them talking about something that I was gonna do or that was gonna happen to me or something terribly important that was gonna happen in my life. To make matters worse, I wasn’t even sure that I would have had it with her.

When eventually after what felt like years of struggling, I decided that no I hadn’t. So I said “I am so sorry but I have no idea what you are talking about. How did ‘what’ go?

Now it was her turn to blink back at me with those tiny eyes – stare for two minutes and say the words that almost choked me.
“Oh…sorry. It wasn’t you. Guess it was your friend. The two of you look so similar that I can’t tell the difference!”

Effects of Reading THE TRIOLOGY IN FOUR PARTS

The cover said “Don’t Panic”. I didnt. I had suspected that the series would have an effect on me – symptoms of which would be blabbering incoherently about intergalactic travelers and strange large pink winged insects. And also dreaming about becoming a two headed president of the galaxy and believing that hob-nobbing with a maniacally depressed robot would show me the ultimate meaning of life. But I didnt Panic. I didn’t realize that I had become this fluent at talking the Ford Prefect talk. That too at 2.15 a.m. in the morning.

Me: hey
He: whts up
Me: not much
He: thought so. u never sound intelligent at this hour
Me: i don’t think that’s specific to this hour
its specific to u.. u just elicit those responses in me.. u compel me to talk to u in your own language. u have that sheer power to get me doing what u do all the time
He: alas its not the power to make u do wht i want u to do
Me: thank the flaberfasters for that
He: now didn’t remind me of them. already had a fit of laughter at their expense in the morning didn’t i
Me: why? they remind u of the terrible gastrongermitical flagentypfors?
He: no no. over beer me and my co-conspirator were sniggering abt our feat. We let those morons reach their destination
poor sods.
serves them right when they meet the slartiblasters. Hahahahahaha (his wicked plan laughter)
Me: yeah..they are gonna be slaughtered. probably put in to the vortex beater
He: sad lot anyways. Ok..chk out this link.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50124820/
Me: what is it? cant figure out. strawberry? too less light
He: duh open your eyes sweetheart. It is a strawberry re!!!
Me: oh.. i thought it was marvin’s brain
He:http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50122938/
Me: thats on Galathea no? I remember seeeing this scene there last Grasday
FYI wednesdays on Galathea are knows as Grasdays
He: naaa, taken today
Me: but which planet?
He: dont remember. just was passing by
Me: aaaahh. its very beautiful. Can I use it as my wallpaper on the screen of my intergalactic travel fizzbuzzer. most of the time..all I get to see is boring stars everywhere
He: ah! well my drive got spoilt. Too much gravitic attraction. always just barely managed to skim by planets
Me: very sweet
He: gnite hun. me off
Me: nightie piety fightie sightie.
hon
bon
son
fon
offie foffie..goffiee coffee
tumtum tumtum
He: u forgot tweedle dee tweedle dum
Me: no..
He: yes u did
Me: I fought with tweedle today. I don’t wanta sing her name. She refused to believe me when I told her I bought my fluggerfust vortex from the flea market in margathea for 44 knutsicks. She says I am lying
He: i agree
Me: she insists its for 65
He: u r crapping. ppuuhhh
Me: i told u ..u elicit that response in me…compel me to do what u do all the time
He: Indeed. Good night.
Me: Night. Bye

Chanced Cause.

This “Thought for the day” email on my office mail said:

“Chance is a word devoid of sense; nothing can exist without a cause.” -Voltaire

Me: I dont agree with this guy…Voltaire.
He:I think he would have coined this phrase only by chance – don’t see any cause behind it !!

Why someone arbit learned to drive

Trigger moments. Trigger Factors. Trigger Actions.
Those moments or things that set you off on a course of action.
Those times that set the ball rolling.

This incident is one of those funny ones in life that will get me laughing whenever I think about it. Also the one incident which finally triggered me off into doing something that I have been postponing since years – learn driving.

Imagine this.
Heavy peak hour traffic at nine a.m. Somewhere near the city centre, at the busy intersection of two flyovers. Bumper to Bumper. Everyone including us is driving at 2 km/hr or slower.
Such a time, where anyone stopping their car can lead to a huge pile up behind them.

He is driving. I am having a jolly good time in the passenger seat, when I see the traffic Cop 3. Reminds me that he is driving without a license.

Me: hey did you get your license back?
He: Not yet.

(He is right now driving on a ticket given to him by Cop 2 who fined him for talking on the cell phone and asked for his license. Our man, did not have his license because it was already with some Cop 1 who had confiscated it. (No prizes for guessing why! Of course for talking on the cell phone while driving (some people never learn!)
So Cop 2 promptly, took our man’s original ticket 1 and issued him ticket 2 which is currently serving as the license)

Me: (One eyebrow up) Don’t think you should?
He: (carelessly) Yes yes, I should…I just don’t have the time.
Me: (with as sarcastic a tone as I could muster) – Then I think we should wear our seat belts now no? Else you might just be issued ticket 3 by Cop 3 on your ticket 2.
He: (With the air of a man who knows everything that can happen and not happen in this world) Pagal hai kya?Kidhar rokega? Usko life main time hai kya?Jagah hai kya?

The Next second after these golden words are uttered…

Splat!!!! The car halts.

He: Oh Fuck!
Me: What????
He: (Shouting) The car has stopped. We are fucked!
Me: (Dying to laugh at the irony in the last three sets of words uttered by him) Are you sure?

Our man is galvanized into action. Jumps out of the car, Expertly diverts traffic around the car and gets Cop 3 (the same one, who we were eyeing) to help him push the car to the side.

He: (Urgently) Can you steer?
Me: (Incredulously) I what???
He: (Patiently) The Car. Can you steer the car??
Me: (Even more Incredulously) I have never touched the steering wheel!
He: (Even more patiently!) Doesn’t matter. Just move as we instruct.
Me: (Hopelessly) OK.

He goes behind the car to push the car. Mr Cop 3 stands at the window next to the driver’s seat to push

Cop 3 (Urgently) Lift the handbrake.
Me: (Stupidly) Eh? Where is the handbrake?
Cop 3: (Frowning) There. That is called hand break! Usko neeche karo!
Me: (Feeling slightly stupid). Ok…. Done.
Cop 3: (Shouting) Ok press the clutch!
Me: (Feeling more stupid). Which one is the clutch?
Cop 3: (Thoroughly irritated) That one – on the left! Press it quickly!
Me: (Flabbergasted) Ok Ok….

And they push the car to the side of the road where it is free of traffic.

Cop 3: Now press the brake.
Me: (Shamefaced) Sorry but I don’t know which one is the brake!
Cop 3: (With a mixture of pity and irritation on his sweating brow) – Madam…who wahan pe..doosra wala. Usko dabao.
Me: Ok…

And the car stops.

What happened later is everyone’s guess…. We got the mechanics to take the vehicle and continued on our way to work.

That same evening I went and enrolled for my driving class.

Yes..in case you are wondering if I know where the handbrake is, I do. I also can incidentally distinguish between the brake, accelerator and the clutch. And the different gears! Talk about small mercies…

…What? Oh yes, I got my license.

…And him? No clue… will ask and tell you if its still with the cops!

Friday Luck

Usually people run out of luck. Yesterday for the first time, my luck ran in!!!
Ha!

After a long tiring evening of shopping for a couple of impending weddings (not mine thankfully!I shudder to think of the shopping I will have to do, if and when I get married…urgh!), we headed out to TGIF.

His bright idea. I played along. I love the place. Specially the Chicken Veracruz.Yumm

So we got to TGIF, he had his Mozarella and I had my Spicy Chicken Fingers. Incidentally, both of us are off alcohol and were staring wistfully at the next table where these two happy women were busy polishing off Martinis and Margheritas. So while these happy people around us enjoyed TGIF’s liquor, we made do with good old H2O.
Watched a couple of matches, Rooney getting a Yellow Card, Ronaldo scoring well (which according to him was the most interesting part of the game), and other handsome sexy men running about the field (thats obviously the part that I found most interesting) and then asked for the bill.

And thats when fate decided to do a U turn on me!
The waiter came back with the bill that we had paid and announced that we had just earned ourselves a voucher of five hundred to be redeemed during the next TGIF visit!Every seventh bill wins this and we were among the lucky multiples of seven.

Now that might not be such a big novelty for everone, but for someone who has never won a housie game, never won a lottery, never won at musical chairs or at any of those silly party games, never won a flash deal, never won free tickets,never won any of those events where you need even a little bit of luck, this was a big thing!

SO how did we celebrate?I emptied the bottle of water into our glasses and went bottoms up on H2O !That was the craziest moment of the evening.Was I excited or what?

Its only later tht I realised, damn..its not my good luck that has suddenly run in. Its probably his.For a person who naturally wins all the contests, this was just another one.

But then who cares?I was there too, at that table.So I can safely claim to be half the contributor to the luck 😉

Here’s to TGIF and their lucky number seven! Cheers